Saturday, November 18, 2006

Focus... it's all about the focus!

My WTF file doth floweth over this week boys n' girls! Lock and load (you'll appreciate the irony of that in few minutes)... cuz it's time to get all Dirty Harry on some more of the bumbling baboons here in the Springs!!!!!

First on the docket... Focus on the Family. Or as Captain Dobson and his Rampart Rangers would say - focus on the target with your military assault rifle. If you happen to read our little village's newspaper (The Gazette), you may have seen the YourHub pull out section in Thursday's edition. Did you read it? If not, go ahead and click -> Cult With its Own Highway Sign.

But wait! Before you read that little gem you first need to clickety click over to the Colorado Springs Independent website and read this article, How Focus on the Family Deals with 'Difficult Guests'. Be prepared, it's disturbing.

Allllrighty then... now go back and read the "Cult" article. It follows up on the "Difficult Guests" article. Don't worry... I'll wait. I'm not going anywhere.

(thinking as you read) Better make sure I have enough beer for the weekend. Can't run out of Sam Adams while I partake in my Battlestar Galactica Marathon (only one of the best shows on TV!)... Need to fill the other propane tank so I don't run out of gas while deep frying Thursday's tasty turkey... Must not forget to watch the OSU/Michigan game on Saturday... Who cares about Air Force? As long as Fisher DeBerry is coach, they're never going to win. I respect the guy, but the option offense?! Notre Dame sure gave 'em a lot of "options" didn't they?! Lose, lose... oh, and lose!

Oh... you're back! Watcha think of ole man Dobson and his Holy Army now? Does this look like a guy who could lead an insurrection? A mass suicide maybe (did I just see the ghost of Jim Jones' face in that pic?), but not a "holy" war. Nope, that's why they're hiring a "Security Officer." But why? And what in God's Amazingly Green Earth does Dobson and his Rampart Rangers need 2,000 firearms for exactly? Scary thought isn't it?

Pretty darn interesting that the two major "religious" (one has to wonder if they know what that term really means) factions in this state have come under scrutiny at nearly the exact same time. "There are no coincidences, only the illusion of coincidence." What do you all think?

Moving on to the next WTF item... Fran and I were driving to work Friday morning, dodging falling Cosmix cranes, and laughing along to The Bob & Tom Show on KKFM like we normally do. During one of the commercial breaks Chuck Squire, the morning DJ for KKFM, reported on the recent plea bargain of one Joshua Patsch, an ex-marshal for Green Mountain Falls (up the Highway 24 pass from the Springs). You can read the whole article in Friday's Gazette, or click here if ya tossed it into the trash (although if you didn't read the Go! section and how bad ass the new Bond is - shame!), but here's the gist of what went down...

In August of 2005 Patsch was fired for - hold on to your mouse boys and girls - taking guns from the precinct evidence locker, selling them (for about $1,200) and pocketing the money for himself. Yup, you read that right. Oh, but it gets better! Instead of getting a felony theft conviction (which would have earned him some righteous time in the hoosegow), Patsch was allowed to plead guilty to a petty offense of official misconduct. Do ya know what the potential penalty for this plea bargained charge is? Max of six months in jail and a $500 fine. Know what he got? 500 hours of community service, and... that's it. Owie, that slap on the wrist really (didn't) hurt.

In the end we have multiple people to blame here. Aside from Patsch, who got the ball rolling, we have the "Special" (my ass) prosecutor from the Pueblo District Attorney’s Office who made the deal. He declined comment after the hearing on Thursday by the way. Gee, imagine that. Finally, we have the last clown (you'll know why I'm calling him this) in this circus... the "dishonorable" (and this) District Judge Patrick Kelly, who just so happens to be a former police officer. But here's the real kicker! Drum roll please... Judge Kelly also called for Patch's record to be sealed after six months, making him eligible to become a police officer again. Can you frackin' believe THAT?!

I come from a law enforcement background. Members of my family have been cops, I have a degree in Criminal Justice, and was a private investigator for several years. Some of my best friends are or were cops. I respect them. Not all cops are bad cops, just like not all Raider fans are criminals or all Bronco fans are complete assmonkeys. Making blanket assumptions about a group of people is as bad as what just happened under the big top here with Patsch. But if it looks like a duck, sounds like a duck, and walks like a duck... well, it's gotta be a damn duck now doesn't it?!

On to more enjoyable things...I'm going to start a new section devoted to one of my favorite things: beer! As many of you know, I'm a beeraholic. Not just any beer will do though - only microbrews. Yes, I am a bona fide beer snob. In this section I'll include links to some of my favorite brews, interesting beer quotes and facts, and pictures of sojourns to the many beer festivals in this great state of Colorado - a true beer lovers paradise. So let me start from the beginning. To prove my love of beer, I present for your approval... my "beer room."

Beer Quote of the Day: "I drink when I have occasion, and sometimes when I have no occasion." (Miguel De Cervantes, from Don Quixote)

Beer Fact of the Day: According to legends, Tommyknockers were mischievous elves who slipped into Idaho Springs mining camps along with Cornish miners who arrived there in the 1850s. (taken from 365 Bottles of Beer for the Year calendar)

Microbrewery of the Day: Saluting those mischievous lil elves, I give you Tommyknocker Brewery up in Idaho Springs, Colorado. They got some seriously strong beer, so lovers of mass produced swill, er... I mean "beer" (i.e., Coors, Bud, etc.) probably won't be able to handle this stuff. My faves are Black Powder Stout (during the winter) and Jack Whacker Wheat (during the summer). I have some Ornery Amber in my beer fridge, and I have no idea who left it (I'm not a red/amber fan).

Until next time... Prost!

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