Wednesday, September 24, 2008

More driving fun in Colorado!

On the way to work this morning I heard about yet another one-car rollover here in the Springs. I'm pretty sure that makes eleventy million, four hundred thousand one-car rollovers in this state this year alone. It's amazing to me how people in Colorado are still allowed to drive. Speaking of...

Last week I heard about an SUV rollover that occurred on Old Stage Road in Teller County. Three 19-year old boys were tooling around the back woods sometime between midnight and 2 a.m. to apparently get a better view of the stars on a clear night. At some point the SUV they were driving in ran off the road and rolled down a 75-foot embankment. The driver was trapped for about eight hours with his leg pinned between the Chevy Blazer and a tree because the two other occupants had to walk 10 miles to call for assistance. They had cell phones but apparently "cell phones don't work up there." They must not have Verizon.

In a subsequent report I heard that the SUV ran out of gas, causing the vehicle to lose power and was thus was the reason the car careened off the road.

I have some (theoretical) questions:
  • What were these three 19/20 year olds really doing way back on a mountain road after midnight? Cuz I'm not buying the whole "watch stars" line. Unless of course that's today's lingo for "smoking dope and drinking beer."
  • What portion of their brains told them it was OK to go "way back on a mountain road after midnight" without a full tank of gas?
  • I've had a 1992 Ford Bronco with power steering die on me while driving... it's not hard to steer to the side of the road and bring to a stop. So why couldn't a young, healthy, strapping 19-year old keep what had to be a slow moving vehicle (after all, they were on a dirt mountain road in the pitch dark... one must assume they weren't speeding, right?) from sliding down a 75-foot embankment?
  • Your cell phones really didn't work? REALLY? Switch your carrier.
Thus... the guy who was involved in the one-care rollover this morning and the triumvirate of "star watchers" both win the first ever Mad Man Award for Bad Driving! Stick this on your lapel and wear it with pride!

Saturday, September 06, 2008

Teacher Applicant

The latest making the rounds on the Internet... which is awesome!

After being interviewed by the school administration, the prospective teacher said:

'Let me see if I've got this right.

'You want me to go into that room with all those kids, correct their disruptive behavior,
observe them for signs of abuse, monitor their dress habits, censor their T-shirt
messages, and instill in them a love for learning.

'You want me to check their backpacks for weapons, wage war on drugs and sexually
transmitted diseases, and raise their sense of self esteem and personal pride.

'You want me to teach them patriotism and good citizenship, sportsmanship and fair play,
and how to register to vote, balance a checkbook, and apply for a job.

'You want me to check their heads for lice, recognize signs of antisocial behavior, and
make sure that they all pass the final exams.

'You also want me to provide them with an equal education regardless of their
handicaps, and communicate regularly with their parents in English, Spanish or any
other language, by letter, telephone, newsletter, and report card.

'You want me to do all this with a piece of chalk, a blackboard,a bulletin board,
a few books, a big smile, and a starting salary that qualifies me for food stamps.

'You want me to do all this and then you tell me. . . I CAN'T PRAY?'

* Thanks for passing this along to me Larry!