Friday, April 25, 2008

Pizza pie in the sky

I love pizza. I could eat it every day. But this is without question a sign of the apocalypse.

The dude on his back tossin' pizza dough is Justin Wadstein. Justin is from the good ole US of A and is "performing" during the acrobatic pizza event. I'll give you a few seconds to let you soak in the absurdity of that statement. OK, now for the "fun" part.... the acrobatic pizza event is but one such absurdly lame event in the World Pizza Championships held in Salsomaggiore Terme, Italy.

Apparently this absurdly lame "championship" is held each and every year and is where the world's best pizza makers gather to show off their chops.

Wow, so our society has become a utopia, huh? When did I miss that memo? I mean, it must be a utopia because we have all this free time to indulge in... acrobatic pizza tossing?

We are so doomed.

Friday, April 11, 2008


See more funny videos at CollegeHumor


*Thanks to CollegeHumor for making this classic video, and Andy at SpringsTV Talk for showing me the light.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Monday, April 07, 2008

Frolicking French Funnies

As a follow-up to this morning's post, another buddy (Steven) sent along this memorable cover photo for Soldier of Surrender: The Official Magazine of the French Military. Enjoy!

You could have heard a pin drop

I want to thank my buddy Larry for sending these to me. Gotta love each and every one of them!


When in England at a fairly large conference, Colin Powell was asked by the Archbishop of Canterbury if our plans for Iraq were just an example of "empire building" by George Bush.

He answered by saying, "Over the years, the United States has sent many of its fine young men and women into great peril to fight for freedom beyond our borders. The only amount of land we have ever asked for in return is enough to bury those that did not return. "

You could have heard a pin drop.


Then there was a conference in France where a number of international engineers were taking part, including French and American.

During a break one of the French engineers came back into the room saying, "Have you heard the latest dumb stunt Bush has done? He has sent an aircraft carrier to Indonesia to help the tsunami victims. What does he intended to do, bomb them?"

A Boeing engineer stood up and replied quietly: "Our carriers have three hospitals on board that can treat several hundred people; they are nuclear powered and can supply emergency electric power to shore facilities; they have three cafeterias with the capacity to feed 3,000 people three meals a day, they can produce several thousand gallons of fresh water from sea water each day, and they carry half a dozen helicopters for use in transporting victims and injured to and from their flight deck. We have eleven such ships; how many does France have?"

You could have heard a pin drop.


A U.S. Navy Admiral was attending a naval conference that included Admirals from the U.S. , English, Canadian, Australian and French Navies. At a cocktail reception, he found himself standing with a large group of Officers that included personnel from most of those countries. Everyone was chatting away in English as they sipped their drinks but a French admiral suddenly complained that, "whereas Europeans learn many languages, Americans learn only English."

He then asked, "Why is it that we always have to speak English in these conferences rather than speaking French?"

Without hesitating, the American Admiral replied: "Maybe it's because the Brits, Canadians, Aussies, and Americans arranged it so you wouldn't have to speak German."

You could have heard a pin drop.


And this story fits right in with the above...

A group of retired American teachers, recently went to France on a tour. Robert Whiting, an elderly gentleman of 83, arrived in Paris by plane. At French Customs, he took a few minutes to locate his passport in his carry on.

"You have been to France before, monsieur?" the customs officer asked sarcastically.

Mr. Whiting admitted that he had been to France previously.

"Then you should know enough to have your passport ready."

The American said, "The last time I was here, I didn't have to show it."

"Impossible. Americans always have to show your passports on arrival in France!"

The American senior gave the Frenchman a long hard look. Then he quietly explained. "Well, when I came ashore at Omaha Beach on D-Day in '44 to help liberate this country, I couldn't find any damn Frenchmen to show it to."

You could have heard a pin drop.


Thursday, April 03, 2008

I love being right!

Case in point... remember my diatribe a few months back about the "Dysfunctional" Minute Man? Welp, seems I was right.

According to an AP article written by Megan Scott, next month's Journal of Sexual Medicine will include a report detailing what the "optimal amount of time for sexual intercourse" is. Wanna take a wild guess how much time? If you go off the myriad of myths pervading our society... you'll be so, so wrong.

The survey results were culled from fifty members of the Society for Sex Therapy and Research (how does one become a part of that "society" may I ask?) across the U.S. and Canada. These are honest to God experts (not drunken, mindless frat tards, porn stars, horny 18 year olds, or sexual deviants). The findings?

Optimal time for sexual intercourse ranges from 3 to 13 minutes. Read that again... slowly if you have to. THREE TO THIRTEEN MINUTES. N-O-T hours.

Dr. Irwin Goldstein is the editor of the Journal of Sexual Medicine. In the report he cites a four-week study done back in 2005 that included of 1,500 couples. This study found the median time for sexual intercourse was 7.3 minutes. How did they come up with this time? The women in the study were actually "armed with stopwatches."

Imagine that. OK, don't. Forget I said that.

Marianne Brandon, a clinical psychologist and the director of Wellminds Wellbodies says, "There are so many myths in our culture of what other people are doing sexually. Most people's sex lives are not as exciting as other people think they are."

Meaning: they're not anywhere close to the "high quality" porn movies flowing out of Sexywood. While most of these myths started back in the day, the "Dysfunctional Minute Man Syndrome" is now being spread by the pharmaceutical industry. Glance through the sports section of your newspaper. If it's anything like our local paper you'll find several ads for male enhancement pills. And let's not forget the endless television commercials (the ones with the "hilarious" list of side effects) espousing our supposed erectile challenged society.

So there ya have it. I was right - again. Boy it feels good. Have a great weekend all. I will!