Beer... it does a body good.

Since (all things) beer has started to become a bigger part of my ramblings (and with any luck a bigger part of my life in the future - oooh aaah, so cryptic!)... I decided to create a wholly separate blog just for that delicious passion of mine.

With that said I have taken all the fun beer components from "Ramblings of a Mad Man" and moved them over to the new blog ... Confessions of a Beer Geek.

Go. Now. What are you waiting for!?!

A Bilingual Country?!?!

If you haven't noticed I've added a new feature to the blog - "Poll o' the Day." So, to break it in I have a question for ya'll, and I'd like some feedback... it's about a rather touchy subject.

Do you think that immigrants (legal or illegal) should speak the language of the country they go to in order to live/work? For instance, should the horde of Mexicans that flood across the border on a daily basis learn English if they are going to work and live here?

I say: "Hell yes!"

Now here's a follow up question: Does saying "yes" to the first question make that person a racist? If you think so - I want to know exactly why and how? I want details that prove and justify that stance. Don't come back with anger, emotion or "Just Because." That don't work.

Because here's how I see things... English is the one and only official language of the United States of America. I'm all for multi- culturalism, but this is not the United States of the World. It's the US of A. Last I checked this great country wasn't run by a United Nations styled organization. Yes, immigrants made (and still make) this country what it is - I realize that. Hell, my grandfather was born in Croatia and came over here when he was 2 years old. But here's the big difference between then and now: they had respect. They (had it tougher then anyone today could ever possibly imagine) spoke their native tongues while also learning the language of their new home - English.

Not learning the native tongue of the country you have voluntarily (legally or illegally) decided to move lock, stock and barrel to is outright disrespect for that country and its people. If I were to move to Mexico (Germany, Belgium, France, etc.) where English was not the native tongue - I would expect myself to learn their language. I would not be so arrogant as to make the people of that country learn MY language.

That's not being racist.... that's being patriotic to your country while being respectful of others.

Now, I speak not exclusively of Mexicans either. I know first hand of a company that employees a large number of Cuban born people. This company offered, free of charge AND on company time, to send them to learn English. Let me reiterate that... they were going to be paid to learn English.

Only one (of the few dozen who in fact work there) showed up. Oh, but it gets worse. They actually organized what amounted to a mini-rebellion by saying: "We don't have to learn their language, they have to learn ours."

Oh, hell no! That isn't gonna fly! Not now... not ever! With that kind of attitude they can all get on the next flotation device heading south. Hasta la vista, baby.

This is the United States of America, land of the free and home of the brave. We welcome any all - as this country has done from its inception - as long as they play by the rules which we the people have voted on from day one. Because as we all know, people - ALL people - need rules. Otherwise, there would be anarchy.

Maybe it's just me, but a brazen "fuck you" attitude like the one I described above will lead us all to a very bad place... one that no one wants to get to.

Not now... not ever.

The 10 Commandments of Lawncare

In keeping with the absurdity of the Vatican's 10 Commandments for Driving, my buddy Steven just riffed this list off. It is one funny piece of literature!

The 10 Commandments of Lawncare

• 1. Thou shalt not let thine lawn grow more than 4 inches before thine runs a mower over it.
  
• 2. When thine canine defecates in the lawn of another, be courteous and pick up the offending odoriferous log.
• 3. If thine leaves from thine tree, or the cuttings from thine mower blow into the yards of thine neighbor, do the righteous thing and sweep them into thine bin.
• 4. Thine trees will not hang into thine neighbor’s airspace.
  
• 5. A weed taller than thou is no longer a weed, but a monument to thine laziness.
• 6. Waste not the water from thine hose - wash thine horseless carriage in your yard and kill two birds with one stone.
• 7. Procreate, for every child thine has means less time working the lawns thine self.
• 8. Start early, finish early, so thine days feel longer, but do not use motorized leaf blowers before 10:30 AM.
• 9. Plant not more than thine family can consume, thine neighbors really don't want 5 more bags of tomatoes.
• 10. Do not covet the fruits and vegetables of thine gardens. Carrots and cucumbers are meant to be eaten, not used in a fashion of debauchery.

TGIF - Mad Man Style!

I'm going to start a new "feature" entitled "Rants from the Asylum." It'll be a Thank God Its Friday style collection that appears on Fridays about things that I've stock piled during the week that I can't (or don't want to) devout an entire column to, but still have something to say about. Like...

By now you know I have a mini-obsession with the massive multiplayer online video game, City of Heroes (and its bad brother City of Villains). Well, it turns out that the producer for the upcoming movie Transformers (which I think will be the summer blockbuster) - Tom DeSanto - has apparently secured the rights to NCsoft and Cryptic Studio's popular superhero/villain game. The plan is to adapt it into a live-action feature and then transition it to television in some form. Sweet mutha! WOOOHOOOO!

Fran and I drove (a mere 4-hours) up to Snowmass a few weekends ago for the 4th annual Chili Pepper & Beer Festival. We had a helluva great time. In fact, we had so much fun we're going back next year. We've done the Beaver Creek Blues and Brews Fest three years in a row, and we've been up to the Telluride Blues & Brews, but this was off the hook fun. We had some great new beers (cheers to the light amber lager from Trinidad Brewing Company, and it was a shock to see Stone Brewing all the way from San Diego there!), and listened to some phenomenal tunes. Spencer Durham and his group were fantastic, but listening to Ziggy Marley singin' his dad's tunes... almost a religious experience.

If you're a big fan of the NBC show Heroes, and are suffering from withdraws - like many of us are, maybe it's time to give City of Heroes a whirl! Check out this article for more ideas on how to quell the addiction.

Speaking of video games, this just in: PricewaterhouseCoopers issued a report yesterday predicting significant growth for the video game industry over the next several years (global gaming market to approach $50 BILLION by 2011 - how's that for vid games being for kids?!?!). Click here to read the entire article over at GameDaily Biz - THE industry source for video game professionals.

I want to give a shout out to my graveyard shift working amigo down at Ft. Huachuca, Arizona (where I was born) - congrats on the 50" DLP Mikey! Between that and the new grill... "life is good!" Sorry that it's 110 friggin-hot-as-hell degrees down there though. Well, you like it... and Fran would too, but not me. Hey, at least it's a "dry" heat, right?! Oh, and call me at a normal hour ya illegal alien vampire stalker! ;)

Lastly... my friend Larry sent me the following little ditty. Hilarious stuff!

"Wrong Bitch" - The train was quite crowded, so a U. S. Marine walked the entire length looking for a seat, but the only seat left was taken by a well dressed, middle-aged Frenchwoman's poodle. The war-weary Marine asked, "Ma'am, may I have this seat?" The Frenchwoman sniffed and said "Americans are so rude. My little Fifi is using that seat." The Marine walked the entire train again, but the only seat left was under that dog. "Please, ma'am. May I sit down? I'm very tired."She snorted, "Not only are you Americans rude, you are also arrogant!" This time the Marine didn't say a word; he just picked up the dog, tossed it out the window and sat down.The woman shrieked, "Someone must defend my honour! Put this American in his place!" An Englishman nearby spoke up, " Sir, you Americans have a penchant for doing the wrong thing. You hold the fork in the wrong hand. You drive your autos on the wrong side of the road. And now, sir, you seem to have thrown the wrong bitch out the window!"

The 10 Commandments of Driving

So you've heard that the Cardinals and Bishops and such over in the Vatican actually sat down and banged out a "10 Commandments For Driving" list right? (seriously)

If not, here they are:

• 1. You shall not kill.
• 2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
• 3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
• 4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
• 5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
• 6. Charitably convince the young and not-so-young not to drive when they are not in a fit condition to do so.
• 7. Support the families of accident victims.
• 8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
• 9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
• 10. Feel responsible towards others.

So let me get this straight... all is right in the world at the moment, huh? There's no war, famine, pestilence, global warming, crime, murder, overpopulation, so on and so forth.

And the Pope, along with the rest of his clergy, had nothing better to do so they decided to kill some free time by sitting around and hammering out some holy driving guidelines? Alrighty then...

Will these be included on the next DMV test?

ADDITION: This last week or two driving north on I-25 has been pure hell. Someone at Cosmix needs to redo the North Nevada on ramp getting on to I-25 (around Rockrimmon and Woodmen), and whoever originally designed it needs to be fired. Pronto. That bottle neck causes stop-n-go traffic - each and evry day - all the way past Fillmore. It's insane! Oh, and another thing... people in this state have NO clue how to merge onto a freeway. GET A CLUE PEOPLE!