Wednesday, October 03, 2007

Broken Halo 3

For the last week fanbooooiiis (Halo, Microsoft, et al) around the globe (that includes you TnT) have been dreaming (when they're actually sleeping) of being the one, the only - Master Chef. Er, I mean Master Chief. Savior of the Universe. King of the Impossible. (queue up the totally cheesy but exceedingly awesome Flash Gordon theme performed by Queen below for a trip back to the past).

What's with the name "Master Chief" anyway? They couldn't come up with a better name, so they had to go the Department of Redundant Redundancies? Ugh.



Ah, good times.

Anywho... Broken Halo 3 is nothing more then a recycled, rehashed, glossified expansion pack for Broken Halo 2. Which is a recycled, rehashed, not-nearly-enough-gloss expansion pack for the wondrously original Halo. The second and third iterations of this now wholly unoriginal shooter have sold more copies then the Bible (joke). Actually, Broken Halo 3 made more money then the movie Spider-Man 3 in its first 24 hours of release so it speaks to the mainstreamyness of video games. In particular the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is console (or as I like to call it - k0nz013) gaming.

Gaming has come a very long way since the 80's, when it was considered nothing more then a pastime for womenless, unwashed geeks and freaks. Today, you can find gamers of every age, race, sex, creed, religion and economic status. But that might be part of the problem. As gaming has grown into the juggernaut it is today, it's become more and more diluted. Games don't have to be original in order to amass piles of cash that would make Solomon blush. They just have to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And we all know what that usually entails. In fact, original, creative games are often shunned by publishers for being too risky and not worth the investment. If it can't outsell (as determined by some Nimrod sitting in his office who never actually plays the game to see if it's any good) the number of mocha-java-half-caff-double-espressos Starbucks sells in day (or the number of mixed drinks consumed by Lohan, Hilton and Spears)... why bother?

But I digress... back to Broken Halo 3 and the horde of garish fanboy reviews it's gotten. Here's a fresh and honest review of the above mentioned game. Enjoy!


1 comment:

Terry "coloradojoe" Terrones said...

I loved the Escapist review. Not only did it start with a Beatles song (which really makes no sense) but it was frickin' hilarious. While the reviewer made some good points, I don't agree with his take on the game, especially since he dismissed the multiplayer so quickly. But the review as a whole was great.