A Sporting Diatribe

Is anyone else sick and tired of hearing pro golfers bitch about how tough it is to play a recreational activity that most normal people do to relax from work? Come on! I've said it before... golf is not a sport. I'm not saying it's not hard, it's just not a sport in any way shape or form. Speaking of shapes: John Daly. When this guy can be called an athlete with a straight face you know things are out of whack. Take a gander at this physical specimen. He drinks, smokes, eats like a glutton, and has a gambling habit. He's an athlete? Not only that, but look at how he's dressed! That is not a uniform people. It's an outfit you can wear into a 5 star restaurant. GOLF IS NOT A SPORT!

Thus, Tiger Woods can kiss my 9 iron when he says how tough it is to play in consecutive weeks. Dude, you're not even carrying your own clubs! You're married to a Swedish bikini model, own your own island and have more money then God. Your "job" is to hit a little ball with a little stick and then leisurely walk to it. You do this over and over until it goes into a little hole. Give me a break. How about you go and dig a ditch with a shovel 8 hours a day, 5 days a week so you can get back in touch with reality. Tough? You don't know tough. You're not an athlete and you don't play a sport.

Next... baseball (actually all of sports in general), and the ever expanding performance enhancement scandal. All you people who have been hypocritically railing Barry Bonds (and I'm calling out more than one - you and you in particular - of the so called "sports columnists" at the Gazette on this one) as the only player partaking of "flaxseed oil" - how's it feel to have a face full of pie? All you morons who thought Barry (who has YET to be factually linked or fail a test) was the only one taking performance enhancing drugs have apparently been living most of your lives with your head buried in the sand. The numbers we've been hearing over the last few years from the likes of Jose Canseco in regards to the number of players taking something is panning out to be true. Hell, I bet it's even higher then that; I bet it's MOST professional athletes in ALL sports.

Look at last year, when Shawne Merri-roid-man (he of the astounding sack and tackle totals) of the San Diego Charges was fully BUSTED for taking steroids. Dude gets a 4 game ban and NO ONE says anything? What happened to the Yankees first basemen Jason Giambi? He admitted to taking them, implicated others, and he vanishes into the background? Now we have Rick Ankiel (seen left) - the feel good story of the year, and Troy Glaus, two of the "cleanest" cut players in baseball factually linked to taking HGH! And why the hell isn't anyone questioning the integrity of Alex Rodriguez (a.k.a. by me as A-Roid)? Dude all but breaks his ankle, has an MRI and then goes out and hits 2 home runs a few hours later? Compare his size when he came into the league to his girth today. He, along with the likes of Miguel Cabrera (of the Florida Marlins) - he of the tripling body mass in a few short years (sound familiar?) - need to be seriously questioned about what kind of supplementation they are on.

Point is... if you're gonna rail Barry, you need to rail all of baseball (and all of sports really, since doping is prevalent in track and field, cycling, football, etc.). You might start with Bud Selig, who knew all of this was going on but turned a blind eye because he needed all those dingers (remember the world famous home run chase between McGwire and Sosa?) to bring baseball back to the masses after the strike. "The Steroid-Era" has been going on since the late 80's people. This is not a new phenomena. And bonds most certainly was not the only one doing it.

You blind-eyed-as-Selig detractors out there realize what steroids do, right? Oh sure, we can look at the professional wrestlers and marvel at their enhanced (through chemistry) physique, but aside from putting on mass, do you know what the REAL benefit is? Fast recovery time. Now, I wonder what type of baseball player would benefit most from a fast recovery time. Hmmm... pitchers maybe? Pitchers, who contort their arm in positions that it was never meant to be in. Hmmm... imagine that.

While we're on the subject of Barry bashing the homer record... here's something I found to be rather interesting. As every knowledgeable baseball fan knows, the right handed batter Hank Aaron (and I'm not taking ANYTHING away from the man as he is one of the best baseball players of all time) started his career in 1954 with the Milwaukee Braves (who played at Milwaukee County Stadium). Did you know that the dimensions at this ballpark changed considerably during his tenure there? In 1954 the left field dimensions (which is where Hammerin' Hank would naturally hit most of his homers because he's was a right handed batter) ranged from 320 at the foul pole to 410 in dead center. In 1960 portions of the left field wall changed (left field went out 9 feet), while left center and dead center moved in by 5 feet and 8 feet respectively. Bonds has also benefited from an era where shrinking ball parks are the norm. All I'm saying is, it started much further back then most realize.

Then there's the topic of the "juiced" ball in the last 20 years. When the likes of NONAME PLAYER hits double digit homers when he never hit more then single digits... come on. Back in January a news report broke (and was basically swept under the rug) that proved the balls used during McGwire and Sosa's home run tear were in fact "juiced."

Now let's talk about Babe Ruth (again, not taking anything away from the man as he too is one of the greatest of all time). But let's put a few things into perspective. Back when he played there were far fewer players in baseball. Meaning, there were FAR fewer pitchers tossing the ball. Not only that, but there was no such thing as middle relievers, lefty one-hitter specialists, or closers. Ruth, who was also a pitcher of great renown during his time, would have seen the same pitchers (who pitched 9 full innings multiple times a week) ALL THE TIME. It is a fact that the more you see the same pitcher (especially one gets tired much quicker by throwing all 9 innings multiple times a week) will be less difficult to hit then seeing the hundreds of pitchers (lefty specialists, middle relievers, etc.) players must face today. Fact.

So basically... all you bigoted, hypocritical Bonds haters - get over yourself. Get over your homeresque emotions and tendencies and consider ALL the facts, not just the ones you want to believe. You're as bad for the game (and all of sports) as Bud Selig.