Wednesday, November 14, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
The Pussification of America
My buddy Steven, who is now a resident of the Mile High State, and I were discussing some disturbing things flashing across the Webinet:
Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends
The crux of the issue? A 13 year old eighth-grade girl served two periods of detention for hugging her friends goodbye for the weekend. According to school officials she violated a policy banning public displays of affection. Here's a portion of that policy:
Poor judgment? Discredits the school? Are you #@!* kidding me? Who came up with that garbage? So hugging people is now considered poor judgment? And how the hell does it discredit the school?
Here's that same School Policy translated through my patented Real World Bull Shit Detector:
This is not unlike taking the Pledge of Allegiance and Praying out of AMERICAN schools. Two things integral to THIS country. You know, just take it out - to vanialize everyone in our so called "Melting Pot" so we don't piss off anyone. Hey, I know... why don't we just rename this country from THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA to "The Melting Pot of the World." So no one has an ethnic identity anymore. Or an opinion. Oh, and while we're at it... why don't we just do away with schools altogether. Everyone seems to know everything and they're just turning into breeding grounds for lawsuits (who then feed the bottom dwelling scum of the earth lawyers). Hell, most Americans are content to sit on their lazy fat asses watching TV 24/7 anyway. We get all the "edumacation" we need from TV. The current Hollywood writer's strike is sure to doom us all.
And thus the Pussification of America steam rolls on, and our slide towards the abyss continues unabated.
Alas, that isn't the only inane thing going on. Check out this little bit of jovial java news...
Ladies First? A Field Study of Discrimination in Coffee Shops
(insert hearty laugh of disgust)
Ya, that's exactly what I did too. Feel free to skim (badabing) over this so called "research" as your sucking down your morning "Cup o' Joe." If you don't feel like doing so (and I don't blame you for not wanting to waste your time with this inane drivel) let me boil (badabing!) it down for you: Men get their coffee all of 20 whole seconds faster than women.
Wow.
So the #@!* what? That's supposed to prove something? Especially something as important as discrimination? Twenty meaningless seconds is now the mark by which discrimination can be determined, huh?
Oh, but it gets better. Believe it or not this woman's (gee, imagine that) paper (as it appears to be a student paper for an Economics class in Vermont) also provides "evidence" showing blacks wait longer than whites, young folks wait longer than the old (as well they should), and the Ugly Ben and Betty's of the world wait longer than the gorgeous. Here's the kicker: the results were just as statistically ridiculous.
People really think this stuff up, act on it and worse - believe in it. Thankfully, I'm not the only one who believes this great country is filled with spineless, Politically Correct (to the point where they're too afraid to actually live their life with MEANING), selfish, overweight, lazy, "I deserve to have a life spoon fed to me," mindless sheep. Check this out in response to the whole coffee BS.
Yes, the Pussification of America continues folks.
And yes... the Mad Man is back.
* Thanks for the heads up on these stories, Steven!
Girl, 13, gets detention for hugging two friends
The crux of the issue? A 13 year old eighth-grade girl served two periods of detention for hugging her friends goodbye for the weekend. According to school officials she violated a policy banning public displays of affection. Here's a portion of that policy:
Displays of affection should not occur on the school campus at any time. It is in poor taste, reflects poor judgment, and brings discredit to the school and to the persons involved.
Poor judgment? Discredits the school? Are you #@!* kidding me? Who came up with that garbage? So hugging people is now considered poor judgment? And how the hell does it discredit the school?
Here's that same School Policy translated through my patented Real World Bull Shit Detector:
We are so spineless and so afraid that we will offend someone, or that some sue happy scum bag parent will take us to court that we must ban anything that might offend anyone, anywhere at anytime. Always. Forever. Banned. You. Stop. Breathing. It might upset someone.
This is not unlike taking the Pledge of Allegiance and Praying out of AMERICAN schools. Two things integral to THIS country. You know, just take it out - to vanialize everyone in our so called "Melting Pot" so we don't piss off anyone. Hey, I know... why don't we just rename this country from THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA to "The Melting Pot of the World." So no one has an ethnic identity anymore. Or an opinion. Oh, and while we're at it... why don't we just do away with schools altogether. Everyone seems to know everything and they're just turning into breeding grounds for lawsuits (who then feed the bottom dwelling scum of the earth lawyers). Hell, most Americans are content to sit on their lazy fat asses watching TV 24/7 anyway. We get all the "edumacation" we need from TV. The current Hollywood writer's strike is sure to doom us all.
And thus the Pussification of America steam rolls on, and our slide towards the abyss continues unabated.
Alas, that isn't the only inane thing going on. Check out this little bit of jovial java news...
Ladies First? A Field Study of Discrimination in Coffee Shops
(insert hearty laugh of disgust)
Ya, that's exactly what I did too. Feel free to skim (badabing) over this so called "research" as your sucking down your morning "Cup o' Joe." If you don't feel like doing so (and I don't blame you for not wanting to waste your time with this inane drivel) let me boil (badabing!) it down for you: Men get their coffee all of 20 whole seconds faster than women.
Wow.
So the #@!* what? That's supposed to prove something? Especially something as important as discrimination? Twenty meaningless seconds is now the mark by which discrimination can be determined, huh?
Oh, but it gets better. Believe it or not this woman's (gee, imagine that) paper (as it appears to be a student paper for an Economics class in Vermont) also provides "evidence" showing blacks wait longer than whites, young folks wait longer than the old (as well they should), and the Ugly Ben and Betty's of the world wait longer than the gorgeous. Here's the kicker: the results were just as statistically ridiculous.
People really think this stuff up, act on it and worse - believe in it. Thankfully, I'm not the only one who believes this great country is filled with spineless, Politically Correct (to the point where they're too afraid to actually live their life with MEANING), selfish, overweight, lazy, "I deserve to have a life spoon fed to me," mindless sheep. Check this out in response to the whole coffee BS.
Yes, the Pussification of America continues folks.
And yes... the Mad Man is back.
* Thanks for the heads up on these stories, Steven!
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
But where's the Mad Man?
Ya ya... I'm still alive. Been in a bit of a non-writing funk of late, but I'm still around. I'll get back into the swing of things shortly though.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
Tosches is Back!
Rich Tosches is back in the Springs!
Kinda. See, he never really left... he still lives in Colorado Springs. But for the last 2 years he has worked for the Denver Post. When the Post restructured things recently they put the "Rocky Mountain Ranger" out to pasture. Thankfully, The Independent wrangled him back into their stable.
Starting today Ranger Rich is back. Ooooh how he's back! Check out his first diatribe with The Independent by clicking this link... and read all about! Here's a peak: "Pastor Ted sure liked Peter." GET OUT! He did NOT just say that!?
HELL YES HE DID!
Glad your back man! We... OK - I - missed your colorful railings of the monkeys who live in our "little village."
Damn, now I have to go and change my blog's header/intro rant. Ah, who cares... RICH IS BACK! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!
Kinda. See, he never really left... he still lives in Colorado Springs. But for the last 2 years he has worked for the Denver Post. When the Post restructured things recently they put the "Rocky Mountain Ranger" out to pasture. Thankfully, The Independent wrangled him back into their stable.
Starting today Ranger Rich is back. Ooooh how he's back! Check out his first diatribe with The Independent by clicking this link... and read all about! Here's a peak: "Pastor Ted sure liked Peter." GET OUT! He did NOT just say that!?
HELL YES HE DID!
Glad your back man! We... OK - I - missed your colorful railings of the monkeys who live in our "little village."
Damn, now I have to go and change my blog's header/intro rant. Ah, who cares... RICH IS BACK! WOOOHOOOO!!!!!
Wednesday, October 03, 2007
Broken Halo 3
For the last week fanbooooiiis (Halo, Microsoft, et al) around the globe (that includes you TnT) have been dreaming (when they're actually sleeping) of being the one, the only - Master Chef. Er, I mean Master Chief. Savior of the Universe. King of the Impossible. (queue up the totally cheesy but exceedingly awesome Flash Gordon theme performed by Queen below for a trip back to the past).
What's with the name "Master Chief" anyway? They couldn't come up with a better name, so they had to go the Department of Redundant Redundancies? Ugh.
Ah, good times.
Anywho... Broken Halo 3 is nothing more then a recycled, rehashed, glossified expansion pack for Broken Halo 2. Which is a recycled, rehashed, not-nearly-enough-gloss expansion pack for the wondrously original Halo. The second and third iterations of this now wholly unoriginal shooter have sold more copies then the Bible (joke). Actually, Broken Halo 3 made more money then the movie Spider-Man 3 in its first 24 hours of release so it speaks to the mainstreamyness of video games. In particular the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is console (or as I like to call it - k0nz013) gaming.
Gaming has come a very long way since the 80's, when it was considered nothing more then a pastime for womenless, unwashed geeks and freaks. Today, you can find gamers of every age, race, sex, creed, religion and economic status. But that might be part of the problem. As gaming has grown into the juggernaut it is today, it's become more and more diluted. Games don't have to be original in order to amass piles of cash that would make Solomon blush. They just have to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And we all know what that usually entails. In fact, original, creative games are often shunned by publishers for being too risky and not worth the investment. If it can't outsell (as determined by some Nimrod sitting in his office who never actually plays the game to see if it's any good) the number of mocha-java-half-caff-double-espressos Starbucks sells in day (or the number of mixed drinks consumed by Lohan, Hilton and Spears)... why bother?
But I digress... back to Broken Halo 3 and the horde of garish fanboy reviews it's gotten. Here's a fresh and honest review of the above mentioned game. Enjoy!
What's with the name "Master Chief" anyway? They couldn't come up with a better name, so they had to go the Department of Redundant Redundancies? Ugh.
Ah, good times.
Anywho... Broken Halo 3 is nothing more then a recycled, rehashed, glossified expansion pack for Broken Halo 2. Which is a recycled, rehashed, not-nearly-enough-gloss expansion pack for the wondrously original Halo. The second and third iterations of this now wholly unoriginal shooter have sold more copies then the Bible (joke). Actually, Broken Halo 3 made more money then the movie Spider-Man 3 in its first 24 hours of release so it speaks to the mainstreamyness of video games. In particular the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is console (or as I like to call it - k0nz013) gaming.
Gaming has come a very long way since the 80's, when it was considered nothing more then a pastime for womenless, unwashed geeks and freaks. Today, you can find gamers of every age, race, sex, creed, religion and economic status. But that might be part of the problem. As gaming has grown into the juggernaut it is today, it's become more and more diluted. Games don't have to be original in order to amass piles of cash that would make Solomon blush. They just have to appeal to the lowest common denominator. And we all know what that usually entails. In fact, original, creative games are often shunned by publishers for being too risky and not worth the investment. If it can't outsell (as determined by some Nimrod sitting in his office who never actually plays the game to see if it's any good) the number of mocha-java-half-caff-double-espressos Starbucks sells in day (or the number of mixed drinks consumed by Lohan, Hilton and Spears)... why bother?
But I digress... back to Broken Halo 3 and the horde of garish fanboy reviews it's gotten. Here's a fresh and honest review of the above mentioned game. Enjoy!
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